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Obama Supporters smear law of gravity.

October 18, 2008 1 comment

Last week, “Joe the Plumber” asked Obama a question without the permission of the MSM. Truth squad investigators are still trying to figure out how Joe slipped into the group of Obama supporters undetected –  wielding several concealed original thoughts – soon to be made illegal by Obama. In order to punish Joe for his heresy to The One, Obama Supporters and people outside of the media have launched a full-frontal smear campaign against Joe for his insolence.

Yesterday, Obama’s campaign encountered a technical error as Obama was unable to levitate off the stage as planned. At first, Obama blamed the sound guy, but soon it became clear that something known as the “law of gravity” was interfering with Obama’s planned levitation act. This has led a few cynical spectators to suggest that perhaps Obama can’t levitate at all. Obama’s supporters are launching a full-frontal attack on the so-called “law of gravity” for daring to expose Obama.

The NYT discovered that gravity had been involved with the McCain campaign for as far back as his piloting days. Indeed, the Times went so far as to speculate that gravity played a role in McCain becoming a POW – a powerful selling point in his campaign – by forcing his plane to the ground at an inopportune time.

HuffPo discovered that gravity has never payed taxes, and, worse still, does not even appear to be registered as a resident of the United States.

TheDailyKos has found that gravity fathered 13 illegitimate children in a giant bowl of crisco oil, was formerly a part time prostitute, is alleged to have raped a polar bear, has caused the deaths of untold non-flying animals that have fallen from trees, and isn’t voting for Obama.

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann notes that gravity is not registered to vote even once, unlike Mickey Mouse, showing clear dispassion for voting for Obama. Keith also named gravity as the “worst person in the world”.

CNN had a headline declaring Obama the winner in his debate with gravity, until it was found that the two never officially debated.  CNN formed a new headline accusing gravity of being too old to be of relevance.

Meanwhile, Obama gave a speech about unity and rising above partisan politics to the applause of his supporters.

Understanding the state of our economy for dummies.

October 2, 2008 Leave a comment

The current economic state has been very confusing for many of us.  Despite coming from an economic background, I must admit that things have been confusing for me as well.  I’ve done my best to make sense of things, and, as simple as I can make it – this is how it is:

1.  Capitalism.  This is where we want to be.  Both traditional American Conservative and Liberal ideologies operate within the framework of capitalism.  Conservatives want to deregulate, Liberals want to increase government oversight.  But at the end of the day, it’s still capitalism.

2.  Good Socialism.  This is where the bailout bill is supposed to take us, if passed.  Supposedly, the bill will replace the bad Socialism the Dems running Freddie/Fannie are employing with good Socialism.

3.  Bad Socialism.  Since the 2006 elections, Democrats have been steadily nationalizing major industries, and then managing them poorly.

4.  Diluted Marxism.  Obama, DNC, Obama’s indoctrinated voters.

5.  Communism.  Obama’s friends, family, etc.

You’ve probably noticed the huge split in both parties on what to do about the financial crisis.  The reason for this is simple, each politician is essentially given two choices:

1.  Vote against my principles and potentially cause a new depression.

2.  Potentially allow a new depression to happen and vote against my principles.

Obama wants the bailout plan because it increases Socialism in the U.S.  McCain wants it because he understands that good Socialism is better than bad Socialism.  Ultimately, there is no good option in this.  In the long run, I think that the bailout plan will hurt us.  Smaller, less intrusive options may end up being more productive without allowing the further encroachment of socialism – even good socialism.

An Open Letter to RealClearPolitics.com

September 24, 2008 6 comments

Previously, some of my readers prompted me to investigate the Diageo/Hotline poll.  After doing so, one of my readers suggested I pursue the matter further, so I decided to write the following letter:

To the employees and ownership of RealClearPolitics.com,

The RealClearPolitics National Average is arguably the most trusted polling compilation in the country.  It is both a valuable resource of information and highly influential over public opinion of the nature and condition of the presidential race.  It is for this reason that I believe it worthy of intervention should its integrity be impugned.  Being such, I have developed concern since it has come to my attention that one of the polls included in the average is conducted by a company whose stated interests conflict directly with the desire to conduct polling in a scientific manner, continually presents improbable data, has questionable ties including lobbying, and gives all impressions of partiality.

The poll in question is referred to as the Diageo/Hotline Daily Tracker Poll – named after two groups that sponsor it, Diageo and Hotline of the National Journal.  The company which conducts the actual polling is known as Financial Dynamics – an international financial consulting firm.

The poll has consistently generated extraneous outliers which invariably benefit the Democratic ticket and compromise aggregate data. The large majority of the disparate data occurs in general election daily polls and on economic questions.  For example, roughly a week ago both Rasmussen, one of the most credible polls in the country, and Diageo/Hotline polled the question, “Who would better handle the economy?” Rasmussen had McCain at 49% and Obama at 45%, while Diageo/Hotline had McCain at 36% and Obama at 47%.

Demonstrating that Obama is superior on the economy seems to be a recurring theme for Diageo/Hotline.

Currently, Diageo/Hotline has a question in which voters are asked to compare two short statements regarding the source of our economic trouble – one from McCain, one from Obama. Diageo/Hotline altered Obama’s statement to include a reference to Bush not present in the original speech. According to Diageo/Hotline, 46% of voters agree with Obama’s altered statement and only 31% with McCain’s.

Since the beginning of this month, all of the organizations you are using (at the moment I type this) to acheive your polling average have shown McCain with a lead in one of their polls at least once – except Diageo/Hotline. These organizations include:

Rasmussen
Gallup
NY Times
CBS News
CNN
Opinion Research
Battleground Research
ABC News
Washington Post
Ipsos

In fact, Diageo/Hotline hasn’t shown McCain in the lead once since the general election began on June 3rd. Considering the small sample size (300 daily) and high volatility of Diageo/Hotline’s general numbers, the closeness of the race, and certain events that gave McCain an edge, this is highly improbable.

It is difficult not to conclude that Diageo/Hotline is promulgating erroneous data. As former pollster Paul Zannucci said after reviewing their numbers, “[T]hey are definitely producing skewed results, but are they doing it intentionally?”

In 2005, Financial Dynamics acquired a PR firm/Lobbying group currently known as Dittus Communications. Dittus’s purpose in Financial Dynamics is unchanged since before its inclusion: It PR’s and lobbies for both corporate and political interests. From the company’s website:

In the summer of 1993, Gloria Dittus founded The Dittus Group, pursuing a vision of serving clients by melding her grassroots experience and her years in corporate communications and public relations. She envisioned a communications shop that was different from the rest – one that delivered policy victories as well as market conquests.

Today, FD Dittus serves national and international clients, with its primary focus on public affairs. We work daily with the journalists who cover the issues, the policy-makers who oversee industry and the thought leaders who influence the outcomes. FD Dittus is best known for delivering legislative and regulatory victories for clients on some of the most controversial issues facing the business community, ranging from obesity, terrorism insurance and media ownership to seatbelt safety, homeland security and trade relations with China.

The company is still being operated (under Financial Dynamics) by its founder Gloria Dittus. Both she and her company are deeply entrenched with numerous political interests and important policy makers in Washington. Many of the political interests which employ Dittus are aligned with the goal of a Democratic victory in November. Indeed, if her political donations and event schedule are any indication, she too, appears aligned with this goal. On May 19th, 2008, she hosted a party for “Madame Speaker”, a book celebrating Nancy Pelosi – in her home.

Of course, the management of Financial Dynamics would have to be complicit in releasing information to aid Democratic political interests.  I have researched the contributions given by the management team (excluding Gloria Dittus) of Financial Dynamics and found the following:

Money given to Democrats by management:

$18,900 given by Ed Reilly (CEO)

$16,700 given by Declan Kelly (Chairman, U.S. and Ireland)

$5,600 given by Paul Keary (Director of development)

$4,600 given by Gordon McCourn (Vice Chairman, Senior Director)

$4,600 given by John Quinn (CFO)

$2,500 given by Neil Dhillon (Senior Vice President)

$2,300 given by Sarabjit Walia (CEO)

$1,500 given by Christine Mohrmann (Industrials)

$750 given by Raoul Bhavnani (Consulting Services)

$500 given by Jeannine Dowling (Senior Vice President)

Money given to Republicans by management:

NONE.

Indeed, in 26 years of operation, out of over 1,000 current and past hired employees, only one employee has given to the other side of the aisle.  Mr. Wild gave $250 to John McCain in 1999, a year in which Democrats were rooting for McCain to knock out Bush in the primaries.  It leads one to wonder what sort of questions come up in the company’s job interviews.

The regions the company operates in are diverse, and its employees are primarily involved in finance – a profession that disproportionately attracts Republicans. The odds of such a political makeup with a decent sized company as Financial Dynamics arriving by chance are significantly less than 1%.

In conclusion, it is highly unethical for Financial Dynamics to conduct polling meant to inform public opinion on political entities while simultaneously being employed to influence public opinion by political entities. It is highly questionable for such an unusually partisan corporation to claim to conduct an unbiased poll. Ethical problems aside, it is statistically improbable that the numbers given by the poll are accurate.  For these reasons, I ask that you disabuse the public and the integrity of RealClearPolitics.com of this questionable data.

Your loyal reader,

Fred Shelm

9/24/08

Major Campaign Issue: Does John McCain have a dog?

September 24, 2008 4 comments

I saw this video a few months ago. In retrospect, it seems completely prescient. Attacking John McCain (and Palin – especially Palin) on random unrelated tangents seems to be the norm for Obama’s campaign.

Categories: Biden, John McCain, Obama, Palin

No death threats in 6 days: What am I doing wrong?

September 20, 2008 7 comments

Ever since this little blog’s inception, I’ve always received a steady supply of death threats from Obama Supporters.  From those first memorable three to grace my inbox after my first article, I have looked forward to reading new threats on my life every day.  However, since Sunday, I have received none.  In fact, ever since the Republican National Convention, I have received very few.  I have three separate theories for this:

A.  I am being ineffective in my criticisms of Obama and his supporters, (at least, less effective than I was when I received death threats more frequently),  and thus, angering fewer Obama Supporters into threatening me.

B.  Obama Supporters are too busy trying to destroy Palin to send me new threats.

C.  The Democrats got a bill through legalizing marijuana without me noticing, and the Obama Supporters are capitalizing on this new freedom.

Any other blog authors experience a similiar phenomenon?

Kathleen Sibelius discovers secret Obama code.

September 17, 2008 2 comments

It was just a normal press conference and Kathleen Sibelius was busy informing us that Obama is black:

Have any of you noticed that Barack Obama is part African-American? That may be a factor. All the code language, all that doesn’t show up in the polls. And that may be a factor for some people.”

Then, suddenly, a voice from behind the curtain rang out, “Kathleen, no! Don’t tell them about the code!”

Before anyone knew what had happened, black helicopters sprang up from behind a grassy knoll and men wearing all black jumped out and took Kathleen away.

What did she mean, “code language”? I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I approached a friend of mine who knew her well, asking him what she meant. He explained:

“She was referring to the secret code Republicans are using. Every time they use a magic secret code to remind people that Obama is black, it causes people to not vote for him.”

It didn’t make sense. I pried further:

“Wait, didn’t Kathleen herself just go out of her way to remind people Obama is black. And do voters really need to be reminded by “secret code” words to realize Obama has a dark appearance? On top of that, if these code words are “secret”, how the hell are the voters supposed to get the message? And one more thing, if these Republicans are using such powerful “code words”, why haven’t they gotten more of the vote?”

My friend was dumbfounded. He spoke haltingly, “Because, um, because, Obama is using code too! There, I said it! Are you happy now you dirty jew?”

I had no more to say to my old friend. Immediately I scoured every old video I could find of Obama giving speeches. I really didn’t know what to look for. After hours of listening to him drone on about hope and change and himself, the answer finally dawned on me:

The “uh”! Obama was using some sort of Morse-like “uh” code! After several hours of pattern checking, I discovered the following sequence:

Uh, uh….uh….uh, uh, uh….uh……..uh….uh, uh, uh….uh, uh, uh, uh….uh, uh

This exact sequence repeats OVER and OVER, whenever Obama isn’t using a teleprompter. After several more hours of code-breaking, I noticed that the frequency of the uh’s multiplied the span between them relative to the fraction of the total sequence gave small integer numerical values which correlated to certain letters. Put all together, the above pattern translates into:

“Vote for me, you idiot.”

So our Democratic friends are right – the entire election hinges entirely on secret subliminal messages sent by candidates to secretly hypnotize people into voting for them and informing them that Obama is black. One question remains – whose secret code language magic hypnotism words are better, McCain’s or Obama’s?

(Obama Supporters, this is satire.)

Prediction: McCain wins by a 51.3% majority.

September 15, 2008 4 comments

Of course, I’ll be happy to be correct just on the part about McCain winning.

I think I’m feeling particularly confident in my predictions this election season for three reasons:

1. Unlike 2004, I’ve got access to a lot of inside information.

2. I haven’t been wrong yet in any of my predictions. For example, I predicted in my article “Obamyth Threshold” that Obama’s support would fall apart shortly after the conventions.

3. Sarah Palin.

 

What’s your prediction?

Categories: America, John McCain, Obama