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The Death of America

November 5, 2008 13 comments

I don’t think it’ll happen soon, nor will Obama be the direct cause. That someone so clearly inept as Obama could get into our highest seat of power shows how intellectually weak we have become. It was the American dream – the average citizen’s working model of basic economics – that blocked the encroachment of socialism in the past, but now that barrier has been removed by decades of intellectual decline. It was socialism that was the death of Europe, and our fate will be no different. Under Obama, we will be stripped of many of our basic economic freedoms as he brags he will do. Social and political freedoms are sure to follow.

Hitler, Stalin and Mao all came into power as a result of socialistic beliefs. This is no accident. Socialism is an ideology which demands reduction in net freedom under the guise of “equality”. Whenever freedom is reduced in a nation, it becomes more vulnerable to tyranny. Obama isn’t competent enough to be a tyrant, but he may be opening the door for someone who is.

Obama’s economic plan will kill millions of innocent people. America is one of the world’s largest exporters of food. Obama wants to reduce our exports significantly by slashing trade agreements. This means we will sell much less food. With much less food on the global market, food prices around the world will surge upwards. People in poor countries that could barely afford food at the current prices will starve. Between 13 and 18 million people die every year from starvation.  That number will more than double by 2012 – assuming only that Obama does what he claims he will do.

The poor around the world will suffer, even if they don’t starve. Raising the corporate tax (it’s already the second highest in the world) even higher will send many more jobs overseas and condemn many dependent on American business to poverty. Commodity prices will double in two years. His massive spending will continue to deflate the value of the dollar, and make our debt even more insurmountable.  This is of course, only assuming Obama sticks to his current promised tax and spending increases. In reality, it will probably be much worse.

Things don’t look much better on the foreign policy front.  Obama wants to cut military spending by 25% and counter terrorism efforts by half. At the same time, he has suggested military action against Pakistan, an ally armed with nuclear weapons. It is difficult to reconcile these two positions – both of them absurd – with each other.

This was America’s choice for president – someone who will cause the deaths of millions, further impoverish the world’s poor, plunge us into a depression, deplete our resources for combating terrorism while simultaneously attacking our allies and potentially more things which were not included in his campaign promises. Well, at least he’s black. Sort of.

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Obama Supporters smear law of gravity.

October 18, 2008 1 comment

Last week, “Joe the Plumber” asked Obama a question without the permission of the MSM. Truth squad investigators are still trying to figure out how Joe slipped into the group of Obama supporters undetected –  wielding several concealed original thoughts – soon to be made illegal by Obama. In order to punish Joe for his heresy to The One, Obama Supporters and people outside of the media have launched a full-frontal smear campaign against Joe for his insolence.

Yesterday, Obama’s campaign encountered a technical error as Obama was unable to levitate off the stage as planned. At first, Obama blamed the sound guy, but soon it became clear that something known as the “law of gravity” was interfering with Obama’s planned levitation act. This has led a few cynical spectators to suggest that perhaps Obama can’t levitate at all. Obama’s supporters are launching a full-frontal attack on the so-called “law of gravity” for daring to expose Obama.

The NYT discovered that gravity had been involved with the McCain campaign for as far back as his piloting days. Indeed, the Times went so far as to speculate that gravity played a role in McCain becoming a POW – a powerful selling point in his campaign – by forcing his plane to the ground at an inopportune time.

HuffPo discovered that gravity has never payed taxes, and, worse still, does not even appear to be registered as a resident of the United States.

TheDailyKos has found that gravity fathered 13 illegitimate children in a giant bowl of crisco oil, was formerly a part time prostitute, is alleged to have raped a polar bear, has caused the deaths of untold non-flying animals that have fallen from trees, and isn’t voting for Obama.

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann notes that gravity is not registered to vote even once, unlike Mickey Mouse, showing clear dispassion for voting for Obama. Keith also named gravity as the “worst person in the world”.

CNN had a headline declaring Obama the winner in his debate with gravity, until it was found that the two never officially debated.  CNN formed a new headline accusing gravity of being too old to be of relevance.

Meanwhile, Obama gave a speech about unity and rising above partisan politics to the applause of his supporters.

I am racist.

October 6, 2008 4 comments

According to the Associated Press, NYT, and Obama, I am racist.  They’re right.

I am racist against inexperience.
I am racist against deception.
I am racist against empty words.
I am racist against hatred of America.
I am racist against Socialism.
I am racist against sexism.
I am racist against murdering born babies.
I am racist against high taxes.

Am I racist against people based on the color of their skin?  No, not really.  But people who look to “race” to explain every single criticism of their candidate most certainly are.

Understanding the state of our economy for dummies.

October 2, 2008 Leave a comment

The current economic state has been very confusing for many of us.  Despite coming from an economic background, I must admit that things have been confusing for me as well.  I’ve done my best to make sense of things, and, as simple as I can make it – this is how it is:

1.  Capitalism.  This is where we want to be.  Both traditional American Conservative and Liberal ideologies operate within the framework of capitalism.  Conservatives want to deregulate, Liberals want to increase government oversight.  But at the end of the day, it’s still capitalism.

2.  Good Socialism.  This is where the bailout bill is supposed to take us, if passed.  Supposedly, the bill will replace the bad Socialism the Dems running Freddie/Fannie are employing with good Socialism.

3.  Bad Socialism.  Since the 2006 elections, Democrats have been steadily nationalizing major industries, and then managing them poorly.

4.  Diluted Marxism.  Obama, DNC, Obama’s indoctrinated voters.

5.  Communism.  Obama’s friends, family, etc.

You’ve probably noticed the huge split in both parties on what to do about the financial crisis.  The reason for this is simple, each politician is essentially given two choices:

1.  Vote against my principles and potentially cause a new depression.

2.  Potentially allow a new depression to happen and vote against my principles.

Obama wants the bailout plan because it increases Socialism in the U.S.  McCain wants it because he understands that good Socialism is better than bad Socialism.  Ultimately, there is no good option in this.  In the long run, I think that the bailout plan will hurt us.  Smaller, less intrusive options may end up being more productive without allowing the further encroachment of socialism – even good socialism.

An Open Letter to RealClearPolitics.com

September 24, 2008 6 comments

Previously, some of my readers prompted me to investigate the Diageo/Hotline poll.  After doing so, one of my readers suggested I pursue the matter further, so I decided to write the following letter:

To the employees and ownership of RealClearPolitics.com,

The RealClearPolitics National Average is arguably the most trusted polling compilation in the country.  It is both a valuable resource of information and highly influential over public opinion of the nature and condition of the presidential race.  It is for this reason that I believe it worthy of intervention should its integrity be impugned.  Being such, I have developed concern since it has come to my attention that one of the polls included in the average is conducted by a company whose stated interests conflict directly with the desire to conduct polling in a scientific manner, continually presents improbable data, has questionable ties including lobbying, and gives all impressions of partiality.

The poll in question is referred to as the Diageo/Hotline Daily Tracker Poll – named after two groups that sponsor it, Diageo and Hotline of the National Journal.  The company which conducts the actual polling is known as Financial Dynamics – an international financial consulting firm.

The poll has consistently generated extraneous outliers which invariably benefit the Democratic ticket and compromise aggregate data. The large majority of the disparate data occurs in general election daily polls and on economic questions.  For example, roughly a week ago both Rasmussen, one of the most credible polls in the country, and Diageo/Hotline polled the question, “Who would better handle the economy?” Rasmussen had McCain at 49% and Obama at 45%, while Diageo/Hotline had McCain at 36% and Obama at 47%.

Demonstrating that Obama is superior on the economy seems to be a recurring theme for Diageo/Hotline.

Currently, Diageo/Hotline has a question in which voters are asked to compare two short statements regarding the source of our economic trouble – one from McCain, one from Obama. Diageo/Hotline altered Obama’s statement to include a reference to Bush not present in the original speech. According to Diageo/Hotline, 46% of voters agree with Obama’s altered statement and only 31% with McCain’s.

Since the beginning of this month, all of the organizations you are using (at the moment I type this) to acheive your polling average have shown McCain with a lead in one of their polls at least once – except Diageo/Hotline. These organizations include:

Rasmussen
Gallup
NY Times
CBS News
CNN
Opinion Research
Battleground Research
ABC News
Washington Post
Ipsos

In fact, Diageo/Hotline hasn’t shown McCain in the lead once since the general election began on June 3rd. Considering the small sample size (300 daily) and high volatility of Diageo/Hotline’s general numbers, the closeness of the race, and certain events that gave McCain an edge, this is highly improbable.

It is difficult not to conclude that Diageo/Hotline is promulgating erroneous data. As former pollster Paul Zannucci said after reviewing their numbers, “[T]hey are definitely producing skewed results, but are they doing it intentionally?”

In 2005, Financial Dynamics acquired a PR firm/Lobbying group currently known as Dittus Communications. Dittus’s purpose in Financial Dynamics is unchanged since before its inclusion: It PR’s and lobbies for both corporate and political interests. From the company’s website:

In the summer of 1993, Gloria Dittus founded The Dittus Group, pursuing a vision of serving clients by melding her grassroots experience and her years in corporate communications and public relations. She envisioned a communications shop that was different from the rest – one that delivered policy victories as well as market conquests.

Today, FD Dittus serves national and international clients, with its primary focus on public affairs. We work daily with the journalists who cover the issues, the policy-makers who oversee industry and the thought leaders who influence the outcomes. FD Dittus is best known for delivering legislative and regulatory victories for clients on some of the most controversial issues facing the business community, ranging from obesity, terrorism insurance and media ownership to seatbelt safety, homeland security and trade relations with China.

The company is still being operated (under Financial Dynamics) by its founder Gloria Dittus. Both she and her company are deeply entrenched with numerous political interests and important policy makers in Washington. Many of the political interests which employ Dittus are aligned with the goal of a Democratic victory in November. Indeed, if her political donations and event schedule are any indication, she too, appears aligned with this goal. On May 19th, 2008, she hosted a party for “Madame Speaker”, a book celebrating Nancy Pelosi – in her home.

Of course, the management of Financial Dynamics would have to be complicit in releasing information to aid Democratic political interests.  I have researched the contributions given by the management team (excluding Gloria Dittus) of Financial Dynamics and found the following:

Money given to Democrats by management:

$18,900 given by Ed Reilly (CEO)

$16,700 given by Declan Kelly (Chairman, U.S. and Ireland)

$5,600 given by Paul Keary (Director of development)

$4,600 given by Gordon McCourn (Vice Chairman, Senior Director)

$4,600 given by John Quinn (CFO)

$2,500 given by Neil Dhillon (Senior Vice President)

$2,300 given by Sarabjit Walia (CEO)

$1,500 given by Christine Mohrmann (Industrials)

$750 given by Raoul Bhavnani (Consulting Services)

$500 given by Jeannine Dowling (Senior Vice President)

Money given to Republicans by management:

NONE.

Indeed, in 26 years of operation, out of over 1,000 current and past hired employees, only one employee has given to the other side of the aisle.  Mr. Wild gave $250 to John McCain in 1999, a year in which Democrats were rooting for McCain to knock out Bush in the primaries.  It leads one to wonder what sort of questions come up in the company’s job interviews.

The regions the company operates in are diverse, and its employees are primarily involved in finance – a profession that disproportionately attracts Republicans. The odds of such a political makeup with a decent sized company as Financial Dynamics arriving by chance are significantly less than 1%.

In conclusion, it is highly unethical for Financial Dynamics to conduct polling meant to inform public opinion on political entities while simultaneously being employed to influence public opinion by political entities. It is highly questionable for such an unusually partisan corporation to claim to conduct an unbiased poll. Ethical problems aside, it is statistically improbable that the numbers given by the poll are accurate.  For these reasons, I ask that you disabuse the public and the integrity of RealClearPolitics.com of this questionable data.

Your loyal reader,

Fred Shelm

9/24/08

Kathleen Sibelius discovers secret Obama code.

September 17, 2008 2 comments

It was just a normal press conference and Kathleen Sibelius was busy informing us that Obama is black:

Have any of you noticed that Barack Obama is part African-American? That may be a factor. All the code language, all that doesn’t show up in the polls. And that may be a factor for some people.”

Then, suddenly, a voice from behind the curtain rang out, “Kathleen, no! Don’t tell them about the code!”

Before anyone knew what had happened, black helicopters sprang up from behind a grassy knoll and men wearing all black jumped out and took Kathleen away.

What did she mean, “code language”? I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I approached a friend of mine who knew her well, asking him what she meant. He explained:

“She was referring to the secret code Republicans are using. Every time they use a magic secret code to remind people that Obama is black, it causes people to not vote for him.”

It didn’t make sense. I pried further:

“Wait, didn’t Kathleen herself just go out of her way to remind people Obama is black. And do voters really need to be reminded by “secret code” words to realize Obama has a dark appearance? On top of that, if these code words are “secret”, how the hell are the voters supposed to get the message? And one more thing, if these Republicans are using such powerful “code words”, why haven’t they gotten more of the vote?”

My friend was dumbfounded. He spoke haltingly, “Because, um, because, Obama is using code too! There, I said it! Are you happy now you dirty jew?”

I had no more to say to my old friend. Immediately I scoured every old video I could find of Obama giving speeches. I really didn’t know what to look for. After hours of listening to him drone on about hope and change and himself, the answer finally dawned on me:

The “uh”! Obama was using some sort of Morse-like “uh” code! After several hours of pattern checking, I discovered the following sequence:

Uh, uh….uh….uh, uh, uh….uh……..uh….uh, uh, uh….uh, uh, uh, uh….uh, uh

This exact sequence repeats OVER and OVER, whenever Obama isn’t using a teleprompter. After several more hours of code-breaking, I noticed that the frequency of the uh’s multiplied the span between them relative to the fraction of the total sequence gave small integer numerical values which correlated to certain letters. Put all together, the above pattern translates into:

“Vote for me, you idiot.”

So our Democratic friends are right – the entire election hinges entirely on secret subliminal messages sent by candidates to secretly hypnotize people into voting for them and informing them that Obama is black. One question remains – whose secret code language magic hypnotism words are better, McCain’s or Obama’s?

(Obama Supporters, this is satire.)

New Obama Slogan: “Love”

September 8, 2008 3 comments

Hundreds of journalists waited anxiously as Obama was preparing to arrive. His campaign had sent out an email to all of the major news organizations, informing them that Obama was about to give a speech to dwarf all others previously brought before. The past week and a half had been depressing for many of the left-wing journalists, so they were hungry for good news. Obama finally came out and approached the microphone and teleprompters:

“As many of you may be aware, something terrible happened to our country this month….” Obama began.

“9-11!” a man interrupted.

“No, Sarah Palin. Our country is in the most desperate times since the civil war in 1739. But, what makes our country great, is the way in which we come together to fight the forces of Sarah Palin with each and every new generation.” Obama paused to wipe away a tear.

“And even in our darkest hour, when it actually looks like I might not be president after all….”

The audience of journalists gasped in horror. Several began crying. Obama knew he had to lead them back to the light.

“Now hold on a minute”, Obama read from the teleprompter, “This isn’t over yet, not by a longshot. The American people aren’t finished. We won’t give in to Sarah Palin’s excessive use of the “x” chromosome. I have a plan.” Obama explained firmly.

The journalists were at the edge of their seats.

“In this campaign, I have introduced the concept of the hope, and the idea of change. By hoping for the economy to change, we can get lots of new jobs and more money and free stuff. By changing our cynicism into hope, we can vote for me instead of that other guy. Through my economic policy of hope, and my social policy of change, we have come very far. But we still have a ways yet to go.” Obama beamed as he spoke. A sense that something big was about to leap out of his mouth was in the air and everyone felt it.

“Love. My new foreign policy. Love. Iran wants to annihilate Isreal. We will send them love. Russia invades other countries without asking permission. They’re just looking for love. Sarah Palin, however, cannot be reasoned with. She is bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad……” Obama panicked. The teleprompter got stuck with “bad” being the last word on the screen. Obama knew he had to do something fast.

“Uh, uh. HOPE! CHANGE! LOVE! YES WE CAN! HOPE! CHANGE! LOVE! YES WE CAN!” Obama defaulted on his campaign slogans. It always seemed to work whenever the teleprompter broke.

“HOPE! CHANGE! LOVE! YES WE CAN! HOPE! CHANGE! LOVE! YES WE CAN!” Soon the whole crowd of journalists were chanting along with him. A delirious ecstasy punctuated the atmosphere as the chant reached a fever pitch. Obama brushed a moth off his coat into the crowd and several were trampled to death trying to reach the insect that had touched the Holy One. Keith Olbermann was hospitalized due to a violent orgasm that occurred 5 minutes after the chanting began. The left leg of Chris Mathews is also said to be in critical condition.

The print media reacted quickly, distributing headlines such as, “Obama makes greatest speech of all time”, “Obama invents Love”, “Hope! Change! Love! Yes We Can!”. Most of the major TV networks, however, were unable to find any reporters able to discuss the story on air without bursting into tears.

To all of this great fanfare, applause, and lauding of Mr. Obama by the media, the McCain/Palin campaign released the following statement:

“Dear Mr. Obama,
See you in November.”

(Obama Supporters, this is satire.)