Obama Supporters smear law of gravity.
Last week, “Joe the Plumber” asked Obama a question without the permission of the MSM. Truth squad investigators are still trying to figure out how Joe slipped into the group of Obama supporters undetected – wielding several concealed original thoughts – soon to be made illegal by Obama. In order to punish Joe for his heresy to The One, Obama Supporters and people outside of the media have launched a full-frontal smear campaign against Joe for his insolence.
Yesterday, Obama’s campaign encountered a technical error as Obama was unable to levitate off the stage as planned. At first, Obama blamed the sound guy, but soon it became clear that something known as the “law of gravity” was interfering with Obama’s planned levitation act. This has led a few cynical spectators to suggest that perhaps Obama can’t levitate at all. Obama’s supporters are launching a full-frontal attack on the so-called “law of gravity” for daring to expose Obama.
The NYT discovered that gravity had been involved with the McCain campaign for as far back as his piloting days. Indeed, the Times went so far as to speculate that gravity played a role in McCain becoming a POW – a powerful selling point in his campaign – by forcing his plane to the ground at an inopportune time.
HuffPo discovered that gravity has never payed taxes, and, worse still, does not even appear to be registered as a resident of the United States.
TheDailyKos has found that gravity fathered 13 illegitimate children in a giant bowl of crisco oil, was formerly a part time prostitute, is alleged to have raped a polar bear, has caused the deaths of untold non-flying animals that have fallen from trees, and isn’t voting for Obama.
MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann notes that gravity is not registered to vote even once, unlike Mickey Mouse, showing clear dispassion for voting for Obama. Keith also named gravity as the “worst person in the world”.
CNN had a headline declaring Obama the winner in his debate with gravity, until it was found that the two never officially debated. CNN formed a new headline accusing gravity of being too old to be of relevance.
Meanwhile, Obama gave a speech about unity and rising above partisan politics to the applause of his supporters.