Obama Supporters: The game
Want to play Obama Supporters: The Game?
A contact of mine working for a big board game manufacturing company has told me of a new product in development. It’s called, Obama Supporters: The Game. I knew I had to try it so I signed up to beta test it with my contact, “Frank”.
The game is pretty simple. Every one gets one “Obama” that they try to cross the finish line with with the highest percent of the vote. The polls are represented by points. Everyone starts with 50 points. It can be played by 2-6 players. You go around a board picking up excuse cards, then use them to deflect inconvenient facts (reality cards) on your Obama’s record. Every time an opponent successfully hits you with a reality card and you have no excuse card, you go down in the polls. Every time you land on a “big speech” square, you go up in the polls. There are random events too, like MSM attacks on your opponent, puff pieces for your Obama, Clintons, Russia invading countries, and of course, the dreaded Sarah Palin card.
We both rolled the dice to see who would go first. I got a 3, Frank got a 6. Frank rolled the dice again and got another 6! He advanced to a reality card square. He picked up his new reality card and read it aloud for us both:
“Tapes of insane racist pastor, target opponent loses 6 points.”
He used the card on me, and since I had no excuse cards yet, lost 6 points. Then, it was my turn and I got a 4. I picked up my excuse card and it read:
“Play race card, deflect target reality card and put it out of play for the duration of the game.”
Awesome! The best excuse card in the game! Frank went again and landed on a speech square, giving him 2 points. I wasn’t doing too well. I went again and got an attack card, it read:
“Broken teleprompter, opponent loses amount equal to double their gain on speech square.”
The trick with broken teleprompter cards, is to wait for your opponent to land on a speech square, let him roll the dice to see how many points he gets from it, then BAM, lay the card down and make him lose a bunch of points. Frank went and landed on a vacation square, which gave him a random event card:
“Russia attacks eastern European country, you lose 4 points.”
More good news for me. I rolled the dice and took another excuse card:
“Demand your opponent talk about something else. Reduce any reality card point-loss by half.”
Frank went again, landing on a speech square worth 4 points. I played my broken teleprompter card, causing him to lose 4 points instead. I rolled the dice again and landed on a GOP strategy square, giving me a random event card:
“Sarah Palin. Opponent loses 8 points and 1 point each turn thereafter. Nullifies effects of all opponents conventions and cannot be blocked or diminished by any excuse card.”
Frank wasn’t too happy when he saw my new card. “F***! Now there’s no way I’ll win!” he sighed. I can’t really blame him. The Sarah Palin card is very rare, only 1 in the game out of 600 cards, for good reason. Unless your opponent is way ahead of you, you pretty much automatically win. Well, Frank was doing good, but not that good, so he forfeited and we began discussing ads for the game. I pitched the following to him:
Think you’re good at making excuses for bad behavior? Think you’re good at ignoring inconvenient facts? Think you can be a hateful bigot? If so, then test your skills on the all-new Obama Supporters: The Game! Hours of fun for the whole family!
Don’t know if they’ll actually use it, but Frank seemed to like it. We’ll see what happens when it gets released.
(Obama Supporters, this is satire. Though, I really wish it weren’t.)