How to see racism anywhere. Part 1.
You may be asking yourself, “How can I see everything as being racially-tinged like the New York Times?” Indeed, for any good Obama Supporter, it’s important to see racism absolutely everywhere except within the Obama campaign. In this guide, I will show you how.
First, let’s try a quiz. I will list a few items, and you try and detect the racism in them:
“John McCain flew airplanes in vietnam.”
“Obama is smart”.
The word “the”.
1. “John McCain flew airplanes in Vietnam.” This sentence reeks of racism. Everyone knows that pilots of all kinds deliberately avoid darker clouds, so-called “storms” or “thunderclouds” while making little or no effort to avoid fluffly white clouds. This is a clear assault on black people. We must demand affirmative action for the number of clouds of various colors that pilots fly into.
2. “Obama is smart”. Another racist sentence. By stating that Obama is smart, this sentence implies that such a thing needs to be said – that it would not be noticed otherwise. In other words, it’s unsual for a black person to be smart, so we require a sentence to inform us. That is incredibly racist.
3. The word “the”. A clearly racist word. It’s it made up the letters “t”, “h”, and “e”, which are all found in the word “white” but not in the word “black”. This word clearly prefers white over black. Definitely a racist word.
4. Trees. Sure, they may look innocent enough, but they also engage in shady activities like photosynthesis. Photosynthesis is a process in which the tree converts white light into energy. From this, we can conclude that the tree considers white light to be a valuable resource. The tree also provides shade, a form of darkness or “blackness”. The tree literally gives this darkness away, forcing us to conclude that it doesn’t think highly of it. Thus, the tree greatly prefers whiteness (light) over blackness (shade) and is, of course, racist.
So, how’d you do? Did you find racism in all four examples? If not, then you are a racist.
(Obama Supporters, this is satire.)
To be continued in Part 2…..