How to talk to Obama supporters
Following my last guide, “A Guide to Obama Supporters”, I decided to write a guide on the delicate art of communicating with Obama supporters. And it IS an art. Obama supporters are remarkably predictable in their interactions and as such can be manipulated easily in creative ways. There are three principles to understand:
Whenever you’ve made a good point about the failings of Obama, the Obama supporter will invariably demand that you talk about something else, and chastize you for having brought it up. For example:
You: Obama shouldn’t have have taken Rezko’s money.
Obama supporter: You’re just attacking Obama’s character because you can’t talk about issues! YES WE CAN!
You: Obama’s foreign policy is very naive. Doesn’t he know it’s silly to negotiate without preparation and preconditions?
Obama Supporter: You’re just attacking him on issues because your candidate has less character! Obama is a clean politician! YES WE CAN!
The solution to this is to overwhelm the Obama supporter with multiple facets of Obama’s flaws. Try to talk about Obama’s character and the issues both at once. For example:
You: If Obama can’t stand up to the anti-Americanism in his own pastor and wife, how can he be expected to stand up for America abroad? That sort of character doesn’t make for sound foreign policy.
Obama Supporter: You’re just talking about Obama’s character and the issues because you can’t talk about……um…..YES WE CAN!
In most instances, the Obama supporter will not want to discuss any issues with you, but rather to personally attack you and make threats. It is ill advised to try and discuss issues with these types, you’ll just waste effort. The best approach to this, is to mock them playfully while remaining above the level of their attacks. You should smile as you do so and laugh about it with friends later.
Example 1: The Yeswecan.
Obama Supporter: Our economy is exploding we’re all gonna die and racism is getting worse and there are Republicans under my bed and….
You: Sounds like you need to change your attitude into something more hopeful.
Example 2: The O’Latte:
Obama Supporter: Only idiots don’t vote for Obama! YES WE CAN!
You: Wait a sec, but I thought you said you were voting for him?
Example 3: The Obamaton AKA Obamabot
Obama Supporter: OMFG U R SUX U F***ING RUHS LIMBAH BUSH HITLERY! YES WE CAN!
You: Hey, why all the hate? Doesn’t your candidate stand for unity and mutual respect? Oh wait, maybe you don’t support him? OMFG RACIST! YES WE CAN!
Obama Supporter: ??????? YES WE CAN!
You: YES WE CAN!
Obama Supporter: YES WE CAN!
You: By the way, Obama sucks.
(The Obamelites don’t “mingle” with normal people, Obombers don’t speak, and O’Zombies are well, basically zombies. For these reasons, you’ll only likely talk to the three types above.)
Oftentimes, Obama supporters will accuse you of being a racist. There is only one solution to this: use their same logic and accuse them of being more racist. Obama supporters assume that if you aren’t voting for Obama, you must hate black people. But, Obama is half-white. So, accuse them in turn of being unable to support a full-black candidate because of racism. Pick a black candidate you think will work for this. I generally use Condi because she’s both black and a woman. Thus, I can add the sexism charge too. For example:
Obama Supporter: You aren’t voting for Obama? RACIST! RACIST! RACIST! YES WE CAN!
You: Oh, so you’re voting for Obama? What, do you just hate full-black people so much you could only bring yourself to vote for someone that was half-white? Wow. I’m campaigning to elect Condi Rice. Not only is she black, but she’s also a woman, and she’s not even running for president. Obama got delegates in Michigan he didn’t earn, why not Condi?
When having such conversations, it is important to remember to have fun. As a general rule, Obama supporters are really, really, really, really, dumb and dumb people have a way of frustrating normal people. Don’t let them frustrate you. Have fun.